Today Was a Struggle
It has been one of the toughest days I have had in a while. I truly felt the post-college blues today. It has been 4 months since I have graduated and it has actually been pretty good since. I try not to focus on others success because it would honestly eat me alive. If I didn't have my family for reassurance it would be a rough 120 days. It can get a little complicated and hard, when you don't have the guarantee of work and money. I have been working since 12 years old and I know how to get a job, but the wait after distributing about 20 different and personalized cover letters and resume can become daunting. I don't lose hope though, I just apply again.
I do feel there is a new pressure now, that I have to live up to. I have a degree from the University of Michigan, and most of my friends have jobs and plans right out of college. It hurts my soul a little when I have to think about the real possibility of getting a gas station job or becoming a bartender again (my pride is so rude). I care what people think and say. It can be a little overwhelming to know I have expectations to live up too, not only as a new college graduate, but also for a small-town Yooper and those standards are babies and marriage before 24! It's in between point in my life, where I'm still figuring things out and I happened to chose my home to figure it all out.
Baraga county is already not the ideal place to go when looking for a creative art job! But I will settle if that means I can take a break with family and friends (just for a moment). Especially since I have been going, going since I can remember. But today everything was put in perceptive, in a good and bad way. This morning started off a little shaky. As usual, I did not want to get out of bed. I am still adjusting to real life and being a grown up. However, I made it on time and picked up my paperwork for the new part-time gig that will hopefully support my shopping problem and shared rent! After two drug tests, a psychical, and two hours later I was able to get on with my morning. To work for my Tribe it mandatory and a little bit wild. I won't argue cause I see the point kind of, but i'm not sure I actually comprehend it fully. Oh well, I have a job! Wahoo!
Once, I made it home finally! I happened to be locked out of my apartment, so I had to run to my boyfriend's work all crabby! I already was needing to pee again from slamming water hard at the Tribal clinic and the hospital. That's not even the worst of my day, but I will keep it PG, but anywho my phone was ringing off the hook because I might have gave my number to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh (many moons ago by the way), and something compelled me to finally answer. They transferred me right away to an advisor. Then who would have guessed, I spent 20 minutes with an amazing, random woman talking about higher education and fashion. It wasn't the usually pushy sales people on the other line, but a real down to earth woman. It was exactly want I needed to brighten my day, which is so weird.
She took an approach that helped me settle my insecurities of having an Art degree and reconfirmed I didn't actually need another one. We worked through my goals and she helped me rethink my dreams from an outside perceptive. In such a short time and while driving back to my locked apartment, I talked out where I wanted to go and why I thought I needed another degree in Fashion Management and Marketing (and I don't). I just need to take the time to start applying myself and making serious moves.
Talk about therapy, she said in an assertive tone, "Will an additional degree take you where you want to go or does your resume already have what it needs to take you where you want to go?". In reality it does and I honestly do believe it will take time and it will be a lot of ups and downs. She did end our convo by stating I can do what ever I want and I know I will. I chose an art degree for a reason. I didn't go to school so I would have to wear a suit and tie or have to wake up early for daily routines. I choose it for the freedom and self expression, to have any degree there's an amount of self-discipline and motivation needed. That's actually how the person got it in the first place! And that's exactly how you have to use it!
One hectic morning will not get me down. My nap and an ice coffee cured my insecurities. Plus, when your mom/best friend shows up to your door unexpectedly with food, then you realize you are where your supposed to be. I need nights with my niece and sister watching the Voice and watching Monday Night Raw with my hunnie (which is where I can write and he can multitask and play his video games too). This is the moment of figuring out whats next on the agenda and persevering through the rough days. It is the little things that make it all okay.
And I look forward to tomorrow. I'm excited.
Baraga county is already not the ideal place to go when looking for a creative art job! But I will settle if that means I can take a break with family and friends (just for a moment). Especially since I have been going, going since I can remember. But today everything was put in perceptive, in a good and bad way. This morning started off a little shaky. As usual, I did not want to get out of bed. I am still adjusting to real life and being a grown up. However, I made it on time and picked up my paperwork for the new part-time gig that will hopefully support my shopping problem and shared rent! After two drug tests, a psychical, and two hours later I was able to get on with my morning. To work for my Tribe it mandatory and a little bit wild. I won't argue cause I see the point kind of, but i'm not sure I actually comprehend it fully. Oh well, I have a job! Wahoo!
Once, I made it home finally! I happened to be locked out of my apartment, so I had to run to my boyfriend's work all crabby! I already was needing to pee again from slamming water hard at the Tribal clinic and the hospital. That's not even the worst of my day, but I will keep it PG, but anywho my phone was ringing off the hook because I might have gave my number to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh (many moons ago by the way), and something compelled me to finally answer. They transferred me right away to an advisor. Then who would have guessed, I spent 20 minutes with an amazing, random woman talking about higher education and fashion. It wasn't the usually pushy sales people on the other line, but a real down to earth woman. It was exactly want I needed to brighten my day, which is so weird.
She took an approach that helped me settle my insecurities of having an Art degree and reconfirmed I didn't actually need another one. We worked through my goals and she helped me rethink my dreams from an outside perceptive. In such a short time and while driving back to my locked apartment, I talked out where I wanted to go and why I thought I needed another degree in Fashion Management and Marketing (and I don't). I just need to take the time to start applying myself and making serious moves.
Talk about therapy, she said in an assertive tone, "Will an additional degree take you where you want to go or does your resume already have what it needs to take you where you want to go?". In reality it does and I honestly do believe it will take time and it will be a lot of ups and downs. She did end our convo by stating I can do what ever I want and I know I will. I chose an art degree for a reason. I didn't go to school so I would have to wear a suit and tie or have to wake up early for daily routines. I choose it for the freedom and self expression, to have any degree there's an amount of self-discipline and motivation needed. That's actually how the person got it in the first place! And that's exactly how you have to use it!
One hectic morning will not get me down. My nap and an ice coffee cured my insecurities. Plus, when your mom/best friend shows up to your door unexpectedly with food, then you realize you are where your supposed to be. I need nights with my niece and sister watching the Voice and watching Monday Night Raw with my hunnie (which is where I can write and he can multitask and play his video games too). This is the moment of figuring out whats next on the agenda and persevering through the rough days. It is the little things that make it all okay.
And I look forward to tomorrow. I'm excited.
Good night and sweet dreams.
*Coming Soon* A floral off the shoulder top and a tribal print cloak!
*Coming Soon* A floral off the shoulder top and a tribal print cloak!
