2016 AT A GLANCE!
I am one of those people who thought to 2016 was complete crap! I have overcome a lot of adversity from 2016 and still trying to recover. I have preserved through heartbreak (more than once), loss in my family, violence, being dragged through the court system, and witnessing loved ones go the trials of drug addiction. Writing all that out just now and reading it back, is mind blowing. Tragedies started to seem normalized to me. My experiences of hardship almost were the norm, and I questioned how trauma appear to be repetitive, blow after blow. If you know me, then you know I am terribly optimistic, and 2016 brought me a little pessimism. Here goes my optimistic nature, already thinking that may be a good thing to have in life. But as I write about "the struggle" and as I sip my 3rd coffee, it is bringing me awareness at the strength I carry.
On top of it all, it hasn't been easy running a business and working full-time as a public health grant coordinator. I honestly wanted to quit. I mean I did! Mentally I did stop; psychically I didn't. I didn't have the luxury to let myself go completely. I was still going through the days, but it was hard to feel fully awake. I can say now finally I feel like my spark back like I have a drive, energy, and determination again. It has taken a lot of time. Healing takes awareness and accountability. I think it also takes a little selfish-ness, the right kind. The kind where you focus on your self and your wellbeing. Being selfish while being an adult with responsibility can be a little hard, especially when most social norms are against it. I even had to explain "selfish" in a positive manner because it sounds negative. The recuperation mentally and physically allowed me to come back stronger; it gave me a more meaningful relationship with my business and passion.
On top of it all, it hasn't been easy running a business and working full-time as a public health grant coordinator. I honestly wanted to quit. I mean I did! Mentally I did stop; psychically I didn't. I didn't have the luxury to let myself go completely. I was still going through the days, but it was hard to feel fully awake. I can say now finally I feel like my spark back like I have a drive, energy, and determination again. It has taken a lot of time. Healing takes awareness and accountability. I think it also takes a little selfish-ness, the right kind. The kind where you focus on your self and your wellbeing. Being selfish while being an adult with responsibility can be a little hard, especially when most social norms are against it. I even had to explain "selfish" in a positive manner because it sounds negative. The recuperation mentally and physically allowed me to come back stronger; it gave me a more meaningful relationship with my business and passion.
